Love and Romance in 5e Dungeons & Dragons and TTRPG

Love and romance are huge parts of storytelling and of real life– but it’s sometimes hard to make it work in your Dungeons and Dragons game! Here’s how we do it so it’s fun, dramatic, and not creepy.

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  • Thanks for watching, lovers! Want us to whisper more sweet nothings into your ears? Get our podcast on

    Web DM June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • First of all, bravo for going the distance on the costumes.
    One of my most fulfilling arcs as a DM was when I played my Weird War One game with my then real life girlfriend. Her character had a fiancee (thanks to a semi arranged marriage, they were aristocrats). It was complicated- he was smitten, but she was secretly a lesbian. They were also genuine friends, even if it was purely platonic on her part. Yes, he needed to be rescued a couple of times. But he was an asset to the party and roleplaying out the stuttering awkwardness between them was hilariously fun. By the end of the campaign, they arrived at an understanding and went their separate ways and it was bittersweet.
    In my current 5e campaign, my wood elf character was just proposed to by a wood elf NPC. The DM has setup that, in this world, lovers challenge for each other's hand at the annual clan gathering and I expect shenanigans. I'm really looking forward to exploring this new aspect of roleplaying.

    Matt Richardson June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • i feel like mom and dad just gave me the talk

    ҉Whi͓telegs̺̪͚ June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • I know I'm pretty late to the party… but why is this video not entitled Love and Romance in FATAL?

    En Ormous June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Ill never have a npc go after a pc but if they choose to pursue the npc I allow it.

    An 8 strength kobold June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Our party just saved a city from an undead invasion and our Cleric was obviously the star that day. He's a Life Cleric who's bitching all the time, he always says things like "I'm fucking sick of you guys" or " I told ya, motherfucker", but he saves our asses every time.

    So that night after saving the city, my character declared to him and kissed s him. My character is a male Dragonborn Paladin and at that time seemed perfect to love and admire the Cleric. I'm a heterosexual man and it felt super real, that's what I love D&D

    Indomakio June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • "Sex is different because it's something they will experience and relate to" haha not my players, gottem

    lietz13 June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • After this video the answer to hearing you ask, wanna see us play? TraceymorganNo.gif

    Kickass Duke June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Bring it back to us lights dim as Pruit looks at Jim

    Audience O,O

    Ironleaf Gaming June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Just as a rule of thumb I don't let their connections just be detriments ie. your characters father is also a black smith who will fix your weapons for you or your wife heard some rumor about (villain, thing to loot, plot).

    NA NA June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • I'm srry to say I usally laugh because it's funny watching roleplayed romance ….. no shame though

    gabriel fitzgerald June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Jim Davis starring in 1980's Cruising.

    Kirk Faulkner June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Player 1: I seduce the barmaid. I rolled a 5.

    DM: okay… You chat up the barmaid, she seems into it. The two of you go upstairs and then you totally fuck. As that's going on the rest of you start hearing rumors about demon cultists and sucubi causing mysterious disappearances in all the neighboring towns. Roll an investigation check.

    Player 2: I got a 7.

    DM: sigh You guys are killing me here. Okay, you've been wrong before but you're pretty sure the moans coming from upstairs means player 1 is getting his soul sucked out by a succubus. Give me a perception check.

    Player 3: Nat 1.

    DM: The moans stop and you all hear loud snoring. You're pretty sure player 1 is fine. The next morning you all awaken to find player 1 naked, tied to the bed, covered in dried up sleep potion residue, and all their gold, gear, clothes, and magic items are gone. You hear the barkeeper grumbling about how his barmaid skipped town last night with her lover Raoul.

    CitanulsPumpkin June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • my masculinity survived 10s into this video, what about yours ?

    olucaspc June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Instead of killing your PC's spouse or loved ones, seduce them! Nothing is worse than the betrayal of your loved one.

    Lawn Bear June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Jesus… Christ. Jim, you absolute madman. That was the last thing I was expecting to see.

    Jack Rogers June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • The moment the cut out to show Jim Davis I died.

    Carron Barboza June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Seeing Jim in that outfit made my day.

    Realizing that he wasn’t gonna be in that outfit the whole episode summarily ruined it…

    Selarom Ogeid June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • I’ve never wanted to call 2 men daddy more in my life

    Little Strummer boy June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • I love using romance as a motivational tool for the characters. GIVE them the romance and let them woo the NPC, then have the antagonist take notice and commit kidnapping to really pull them into the story and let them save the maiden.

    Nik Wolfe June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Romance has become a useful storytelling tool for my games. But I had to learn a rough lesson how to do it right.

    One of my PCs fell in love with an NPC, an immortal woman that was imprisoned in a wooden crate. He freed her and the party traveled with her. At first they fought and argued. Constantly. But over the course of the story arc, they became friends and got to know eachother. The player didn't realize his character had fallen in love with her until he lost her. The player was in complete and utter shock when the session ended. He refused to talk about her for the next 4 days. Could not mention her name. Or speak in the characters voice. Or listen to music that reminded him of her. This was my error as a DM I did not catch onto the PCs growing feelings in game and continued the story until the arc hit a narrative end without considering the emotions of my players.

    It is dumb luck that the NPC wasn't truly dead, her mortal body was destroyed but her soul was alive. So now the PC is on an epic quest to restore her to life. The player is much happier and has a goal for his character. And the character who started to get very dark, killing one NPC and maiming another, is now trying to make the best of a bad situation. Has hope, is helping other people and ultimately wants to save the woman he loves.

    My 2 cents: DMs please try to be considerate and thoughtful of your players emotions. You can hurt them a lot without meaning to. I didn't realize how emotionally vulnerable players could become in a game. How much trust is there. And how easily you can shatter that trust.

    Somename June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • I can't tell if you actually said "rolemance" or not at the start, I hope you did.
    I don't know why I keep coming to these videos, I often end up just hearing people try to act open and then say "oh but dont do this, this crosses the line" and then I get mad. Romance is allowed in my game and now I'm pregnant… My character I mean. It has ironically been one of the best parts of the game. Ironic because I was the only one that said I didn't want romance ingame when we were starting out. So ready for cringe that I didn't think that it could actually put most film romances to shame.
    "As well it should be!" and there it is, guy on right pushes a boundary that he has, as a rule for everyone. Guy on left then has to damage control and undo it. Rape is specifically the act of not getting consent to do something to someone. So getting consent from your players to have rape in the game almost by definition makes it okay.

    As my character is pregnant, I have thought a bit about the future. But I didn't actually have any plans for what to do when she became unable to fight. I had her mindset of "Stop worrying about me and let me kill some zombies!" but that's just not gonna work. I have only now begun to think things over seriously thanks to this video. I'm gonna have to bring in a new character to play for a few months. Which in our time could last years… That's very scary to think about.

    I didn't expect talk of family and loved ones and bonds to come up, but I really should have. I fully agree on how important it is for characters to have connections. Both as potential allies or future enemies. Or reasons to fight and protect. They really are so important. And when the GM brings a character's father in as a cultist leader, whew! Shame he died… But now my future husband gets to inherit the mansion so I guess I really win out from this.
    Also DMed a game where I had a GMPC for every PC, who was someone they lived with, typically a parent. We got to flesh out characters well in this enviroment of the PCs not having met up yet, and it was a lot of fun for me too. My players designed the characters I ended up playing, but I took them in the direction that fit most with the plot. I really like that mix of input from all of us. Also it was a game where the PCs were all children so a guardian was pretty much required. It was a lot of work for me, but I've since come to enjoy DMing with a huge cast of fleshed out characters now. I took that experience into all my future games. I think every GM needs to get to RP as someone's parent at some point. Heh, even in my current game where the party are adult mature pirates I still got to RP as someone's mother! The danger and risk to these characters is never higher than usual, because I'm not cruel.

    Now to return to the dark topic. As a DM I have had to RP in response to an event, where I was playing… the victim. It didn't go as awfully as it could have, to the point the PC didn't even seem to realise what he had done. (That was the alarming part.) But ingame it gave his character's personality a lot of clarity. He's someone that doesn't give up when he finds something he wants. He doesn't accept no as an answer. From always completing quests no matter what, to less savory things. It was his defining trait, and the bad side of it was good to explore… I'm also allowing the other PCs to punch his character when they find out what he did, if that's the kind of characters they're playing. Main thing is, everyone agreed that this would be an anything goes game. Though I will draw the line if it comes to PVP where it gets serious. That's where you risk taking the game away from someone. Unless there is additional consent between the players that they will accept the outcome. (The player whos character did the rape has also given this consent to have his character killed.)

    Overall this was the best video I've seen tackle the topic. You guys have a decent amount of experience on the topic and were mature about it. I came in with very poor expectations, but really I had to be overdramatically offended over one slipup to even try to get upset. Which has by now become notably silly to me and I'm sorry about that. Thanks guys! I'm going to check your other videos out.

    Tails Clock June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • My first DND love story was my bard getting so drunk he was flirting with a very feminine pile of rocks.

    Jackofhearts22 June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • I think the only thing missing from this episode is a cautionary tale in regards to running games with or for minors. I've seen campaigns evolve from PG to R rating real quick, and in this day and age, you cant be to cautious.

    Lorne Bixby June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • The story of Python and Galahad made me tear up. <3

    H. Jones June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Best. Intro. Ever. 😂

    luckyswine June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • This is happening in my group. My monk character is getting involved with her barbarian retainer. My husband is the DM. 🙂

    Ann DG June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • I find as a player I am often of two minds. On the one hand, I know from experience that having relationships in game (not just romantic ones, but those too) adds a tremendous amount of depth and satisfaction to the game in the long run. (That's true even if they are threatened in some way. Saving your sister from bandits is always more engaging than saving "the quest-giver's daughter.) On the other hand, on an emotional level, there is that part of me that wants to avoid relationships because of the tension that those situations can create. That, despite knowing that the tension is ultimately rewarding. That reward easy beat can't quash the risk aversion I feel, because you can't dismiss the feat of loss with a cost-benefit analysis. As a result, I have the urge to be risk averse despite knowing that it could make the game less fun.

    Buer, Great President of Heck June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • My character Kallista, a fighter barbarian, and another character, Amnon, an archfey warlock, were shipped so fiercely by our fellow players that is became a running gag. Kallista was a ball of snark that had little use for the somewhat flowery ways of Amnon (she was raised in a gladiatorial pit after all) so when she jokingly called him "Jashin", a term for a handsome man, as a joke following yet another woman flirting with him, it became the goal of the other players that Amnon and Kallista would end up together. Eventually, Kallista did start to develop genuine feelings for Amnon, finally admitting to having them in the second to last session of the campaign as of now, and leaving Amnon at a complete loss of how to approach this potential relationship. He's such a precious boy that doesn't quite know how to deal with Kallista. Which is so much fun.

    Ryn Flare June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Recently, I played a campaign of Curse of Strahd where the purpose was not for us to kill Strahd, but for our Bard to marry him and bring him to the side of good. Their wedding is happening next session!

    Jack Hardy June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Whats hilarious about this is my first non adventure league campaign has a womanizer monk. He has already met a widowed woman, a tongueless elf slave and a airhead shop owner. My dm constantly face palms or slams his head on the desk when I ask "Can I tell if the dark shrouds look feminine under those cloaks?"

    KittenPyroNao June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • I like to think Jim had that in his closet and offered to wear it for the intro.

    no no June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • My first game the bard slept with an orc from my village and ended up having to marry her by law. The dm and I had planned on me leaving the village as soon as the party found me, we stayed over a year and he had twins.

    no no June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • I'm playing my Bard way against type; he has eyes for only one woman. And Tiamat and her flunkies have threatened to either turn her against me or kill her on two separate occasions now. If that happens, I'm going to go through a considerable shift in alignment. You never pick a fight with a man who has nothing to lose.

    Michael Bradley-Robbins June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • 2 pcs get married givem a bonus to saves if they are within 10 feet of each other. I encourage my gal when shes rock climbing its a powerful tool

    Garrett Daly June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • i introduced a totally new player to dnd by magically forcing his character to blow my character. it was very romantic. the player still views that as his best DnD moment to this day

    however, another player played a female character and i played a womanizer so i hit on him (her) and he was livid. lol, so it REALLY depends on the person.

    Joe June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • rocky horror and village people energies

    Nico Cortes June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Only ways to do romance are in text so you're not hearing the DM's voice, or actually be dating the DM or fellow player you're going to be romancing.

    Vherstinae Altheiris June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • All chaps are assless otherwise their pants.

    wwaxwork June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Its hard when a couple is in the group and they take 20 out of game to verbally romance.

    John Snow June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Did Jim raid my closet? I wore that when I went to a goth nightclub nine years ago.

    DrossPedantic June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Smile on your brother everybody get to get together try to love one another right now!

    Kurt Cobain flies in through the window with downstrokes of death!

    N / A June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply
  • Damn those shoes and suit combo is doctor who fashion to a t

    N / A June 26, 2020 2:02 pm Reply

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